Lonely

Lonely

Like the wrinkles on a face
Loneliness seem to have become apart of my personality
I want to sure erase it making different faces
But oh no, being normal it still feels lonely…

Sure I curb sometimes the loneliness with thoughts
And more with imaginations
But coming back to the real world hurts a lot, hurts a lot
With the cold wintry blues piercing me right through my heart,
And the smug of warm spring afternoon tearing me apart,
What do I seek?
What do I deserve?
I ask myself and I daze into the countless minutes I walked across so far

I see no fault of mine
I see no remorse even of the thickness of a dime
And yet I am lonely
Loved but lonely
Cared but lonely
Hated but lonely

Tell me why I feel this
Is this because I have placed myself in a bubble
From where love doesn’t touch no more
Hate doesn’t bother no more
Caress doesn’t attract no more

Why have I become so?
Is this because
I lived an unusual life
Is this because
I lived with a big lie in my life
Is this because guilt hunts me
For thing I didn’t do


What should I do?
What should I do?
For the person I can to talk
Is sleeping among the angels
For the person who brings me out of the bubble
has scooped me out of his life…
Hope is for losers,
Recovery is for me
But how do I recover
For many things are inscribed in me
Like an epitome in a lonely dark graveyard,
I shiver at the thought
And yet I tell myself
It aint your fault deechi,
It aint your fault…
But then I feel
Had it been not my fault,
Why did I feel the way I did?
Why did I change after the incident
To become a person I am now.

Somehow deech is long killed
Somehow I lived my life with a burden
Burden of being someone
So as to make people like me
Love me, care for me
But sure I did not realize
No matter what I be
Loneliness is not gonna leave me, not gonna leave me…